Happy complicated Mother’s Day

Today I’m remembering and holding close in my heart the friend and loved one . . .

. . . who doesn’t know how she’s going to raise her child(ren) because she can’t make ends meet after leaving her abuser to save their lives.

. . . whose child(ren) chose to abandon her along with her church when she left the man who was stealing her life from her.

. . . who appears motherless to the outside world, but the outside world doesn’t know how many children she has in heaven.

. . . who is struggling with the effects of mental illness who is trying not to think too much about the years ahead as she focuses on today in raising her little one(s).

. . . who was disbelieved by everyone or almost everyone in her life and feels abandoned and alone, perhaps with one or two of her younger ones still with her.

. . . who left her children’s abuser to get them safe and now finds that she has to share joint unsupervised custody with him.

. . . who would have made a wonderful mother but never had the opportunity.

. . . whose child was killed in the prime of life, even possibly at his or her own hand.

. . . who is still struggling to remain in a nightmare of a marriage and keep her child(ren) safe from the harm.

. . . who truly loves her narcissist mother but knows if she reaches out to her, her hand will be bitten off.

. . . whose mother was too broken or ignorant or even evil to protect them from the predator they had to face on a regular basis (who may have been the mother herself).

. . . who mourns her deceased mothers and the relationship that can now never be mended this side of heaven.

For some, Mother’s Day is a very hard day. And so I’m thinking about you, and  I’m praying you’ll feel the presence of the Lord near you in your pain. I’m sending much love your way.

 

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annthelen
Guest

This is precious..

journey
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journey

Thank you

Lynn (daughter of a narcissistic mother)
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Lynn (daughter of a narcissistic mother)

Thank you ♥️

Jewel
Guest
Jewel

Thank you Rebecca!

Lisa
Guest
Lisa

who made an adoption plan,and to those who did not, but by circumstances could not parent their children. You are not forgotten.

Betsy
Guest
Betsy

Thank you.

Morning Glory
Guest
Morning Glory

Thank you. I was struggling this morning for many of the reasons you have listed. Your words of compassion are a healing balm to my hurting heart.

Maggie
Guest
Maggie

I am the daughter of a “Christian” narcissistic mother who is a better actress in public than I will ever be.

Karen Esparza
Guest
Karen Esparza

Thank you for the words of encouragement. I actually dislike this day for many reasons, mostly because it was all a facade. Sigh…

NGl
Guest
NGl

Thank you. I am also thinking of many women, who have prayed and hoped to have children of their own for their whole adult life, but have been rejected by the men they met and never were considered ‘good’ enough to marry. The church often disregards our pain and belittles that loss, telling women like us that we just need to be content and think of all the ‘other stuff’ available to us as singles. (But what often happens, when we do try to get involved with ministry, we are considered as ‘immature’ and not adult enough, since we don’t have children of our own… )
The society often views us like the selfish ones, who just want to enjoy life and not settle down…

But many of us are grieving. although not in public – there are no graves to cry on, no memories to hold to, and no future reunion with babies in Heaven. (mothers of dead children at least have that hope ..)

It is no wonder that even some Christian women resort to getting pregnant out of wedlock just to experience the joy of motherhood – even though that is hard and often lonely. At least society and churches generously support those women and sees them as valuable human beings..

I wish this topic was less taboo and more openly discussed in churches, not with the assumption that ‘women have themselves to blame since they are no longer feminine enough’ or other such absurd explanations, but with compassion and honesty.

Jessica
Guest
Jessica

Thank you for this!! It can be a difficult and annoying holiday to recognize as a daughter of a supposed Christian, narcisstic mother who refused to protect her own children.

healinginhim
Guest

Thank you for this post. It has been a very painful day. I was so blessed to have the Lord give me the gifts of three children … a fourth is with the Lord. But oh Lord, to have the man who fathered them and to have them all snub me is truly painful.

Cindy Burrell
Guest

Thank you for acknowledging all of the hurting, wounded and left-out mothers and daughters. There are so many in these situations, and Mothers Day can feel like a cold slap, a painful reminder that something is terribly broken. Knowing that we are not alone is very comforting.