What does “loving your enemies” look like with an abuser?

Recently I received a note from a friend, Rochelle Sadie (whose blog about recovering from domestic abuse is here).

The verse that the enemy likes to use against me to guilt trip me is Luke 6:32 when Jesus said “anyone can love someone who is nice to them, but it’s better to love your enemy.” Basically I feel so much condemnation, like I’m taking the easy way out by avoiding my abuser, and God is disappointed in me that I would not seek to “love my enemies” or just try to work around their “shortcomings.”

I wonder – if you might help me understand Jesus’ true intentions with this statement. What is the heart of God regarding our attitude toward our abusers and sometimes toward those who pressure us to return to an abuser and/or a chronically unfaithful man?

Here is my reply. Continue reading “What does “loving your enemies” look like with an abuser?”

The best counsel I ever received—it’s not what you’d expect (guest post by Ruth Harris)

I love it when friends of mine find their voices and speak. I love providing them with a safe space to speak about what God has done in their lives.  This one is from my friend Ruth.

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I’ve not ever been in what is considered formal therapy. Sadly the “biblical counsel” my church leaders and Bible college leaders gave me as a teen almost killed me.

“Never question authority”

I was raised in an environment where authority was absolute.  Obedience without question was expected to be given to any “authority” in my life. I learned that they were chosen and ordained by God to communicate God’s plan and design for my life. If any authority figure pointed out anything other than unquestioned obedience on my part, I would be punished.

“Adults do not just sit around making up lies just to create trouble for children.” I heard that time after time. Continue reading “The best counsel I ever received—it’s not what you’d expect (guest post by Ruth Harris)”

“It’s not about you”

Quiz time.

What’s wrong with that statement in the title?

Answer . . .

There’s no antecedent for the “it.” 

(As a writer, editor, and English teacher, I’m troubled by a missing antecedent because of the ambiguity it creates. And yes, that sentence was a little bit “about me.”)

So I had to do some research to find out what people think the “it” refers to. Turns out different people think it refers to different things. Imagine that. Gotta love ambiguity. Continue reading ““It’s not about you””

“Your empathy is a sin” – a response to Desiring God

Umm . . . yes, he really did call it a sin, an “enticing sin,” in fact. That is, this Desiring God author truly did say that empathy is bad and even a trick of the devil. And the majority of the commenters on the Facebook post of the article and the hundreds who shared it believed the same way, many of them feeling convicted of the sin of empathy.

It’s a Screwtape-styled article, so you’re supposed to read it inside out and opposite, sometimes but not all the time, which can make it challenging to figure out, but it’s here, so I welcome you to see for yourself. Continue reading ““Your empathy is a sin” – a response to Desiring God”

A new church parable of the Good Samaritan

inspired by Valerie Jacobson, and posted in honor of #SBC2019, the convention of which has a theme this year of dealing with sexual abuse in the church.

 

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Samaritan: What happened to you?

Wounded One: I was attacked by a sadistic robber.

Samaritan: Really? Which way did he go? I have to find him.

Wounded: Could you help me first before you bring him to justice?

Sam: Bring him to justice? No, Continue reading “A new church parable of the Good Samaritan”

“Better than I deserve”

If you’ve listened to Dave Ramsey at all, you’ve heard it as a response to “How are you?”

If you listen to country gospel, you might have heard it as a song.

If you’ve been looking, you’ve seen it in blog posts (and more blog posts) and maybe even on T shirts.

If you’ve sat under C.J. Mahaney or any of his disciples, you’ve heard it in sermons and greetings at church.

It sounds like a cute catch phrase. To some people it sounds humble.

And Biblical. Continue reading ““Better than I deserve””